You see, there are a few things that happen in our lives that make us, you and I, give up so easily without a second thought. Sometimes, we only think that we need others by our side to keep us going, and though it is true and helpful, it shouldn't mean that if there is no one to show up for us, then we should remain there stagnant without doing anything to help ourselves.
You know, there was a moment in my life when all I believed, genuinely, was that I needed motivation. I always waited for one, thinking it would be delivered to me in a parcel. I signed up for daily motivational quotes, always expecting some motivational quotes in my inbox, but that one never came.
At the end of it all, what life handed me were deadlines, responsibilities, self-doubts, and tight schedules that didn't give me space to breathe. What I gradually came to realize after far too much waiting for someone to encourage me was that encouragement is not something you can receive all the time, always, and any time you need it. It is something you must do yourself sometimes.
Why Do We Naturally Crave Encouragement
As humans, we naturally and often desire affirmation. We are the type that always want someone to say,
"Oh, you did well. Just keep going. Do better next time. There is more room for improvement.
These motivational words matter to us because they help boost the already existing confidence in us. It makes us keep going without the thought of giving up along the way. It makes us perform better. Just think about it, how athletes run faster when the crowd cheers them on, or how children do better in their performance when they are praised.
Encouragement matters to us because:
- It makes us know we are doing well since it validates our effort
- When we doubt ourselves, encouragement reduces it.
But here is the truth that no one tells you
Encouragement from others is helpful but can also be unreliable. The fact is that people are busy, often distracted, finding ways and means to always make life meaningful for themselves. Some care so much, but the truth is, they never get to say it because they are just occupied in ways that neither you nor I know.
The Dangerous Myth of Waiting to Be Noticed
Many people delay their plans in life because they are always waiting on someone. Waiting for someone to come and support them or tell them they can go on with that next step.
- “I’ll keep going when someone supports me.”
- “I’ll try harder when someone believes in me.”
- “I’ll start when I feel motivated.”
The above are the things we often delay ourselves with, and to tell you the truth, life unfortunately does not operate on that system. You know, dearest reader, progress in your life does not need recognition; your growth must not be seen by everyone, and most of the important wins you will attain will come in total silence where no one even sees them.
So, as you sit there waiting for someone to recognize you or come and support you when you need to support and push yourself, it's just like waiting in the desert for the rain. You can get it eventually, but you cannot build your life around it.
What Does Self-Encouragement Mean, and What Does It Not Mean
I am not going to share with you any definitions of self-encouragement, but I will share with you what it truly means in real life. Self-encouragement is not when you are pretending that you are fine when you know very well things are going wrong.
True self-encouragement is when
- You acknowledge that life for you is hard, but you continue anyway
- You speak to yourself with respect and do not criticise yourself
- You recognize the little progress that you are making, no matter how small it seems.
It is just like telling yourself, yes, I know this is difficult, but I will do it anyway because I am capable.
What Does It Mean When No One Pushes You Forward or Does
I know someone out there may assume this as someone placing their hand on your back and giving you a push. No, that is not it. The pushing forward I am referring to in this blog is the kind of pushing you receive as an individual when you find yourself in difficult situations. Take it for example that you owe some amount of school fees and need someone to help you out with the bills. In this scenario, if someone comes forward to help you, then they have, in one way or another, given you a push in life.
In the same vein, if no one comes forward to help you sort out your bills, then we can say clearly that you have gotten no one to give you a push forward.
What Does It Mean To Push Yourself
Giving yourself a push in life literally means that you help yourself when you find yourself in challenging situations. You support your own dreams, fight hard to achieve your dreams, no matter how difficult it is. That is what it looks like to push yourself in life.
How You Can Push Yourself As An Individual
You can be of help to yourself in many ways when you find yourself stagnant or struggling. To be able to push yourself, you must
- Validate your own efforts
- Change how you speak to yourself
- Appreciate yourself when you successfully overcome an obstacle in your life.
Common Mistakes You Should Try to Avoid When Encouraging Yourself
Do not compare yourself to other people
Do not allow yourself to feel discouraged
Do not overwork to prove your value or worth to anyone
Do not wait till when you feel ready before you continue with your goals.
Note of Appreciation
On this note, as this article comes to an end, I want to take the time out to say a big thank you for being here, for reading, and for making us who we are. The team wants to appreciate you for your time with us. Please leave a comment, and share your opinions, and also
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