You know, I have had the privilege to actually meet a lot of people in my life, both the young and old. To be honest with you, many people have different ways of living their lives, and if someone mentions maturity to you, the first thing that comes to mind is old age. I see it differently: maturity is not only about old age, but also about your sense of belonging, reasoning, approach to situations and people, and how you handle the situations and challenges that come your way in life.
Let me tell you a story.
You know, I have come across people in my life who always think they are wise because they're old. No, it needn't be so. You know, there was a friend of mine who lent some money to a friend, but the friend didn't pay back on time. Under normal circumstances, my friend would have revolted and harshly asked for the repayment of his loan, but he was very patient. Although the person he gave the loan to defaulted for many days, he still relaxed a little and asked gently, until finally, the loan was paid back to him.
There was also a day when I came across a truck pusher and a motto rider having a misunderstanding. The issue was nothing more than just a roadblock. Because the truck pusher's goods were a lot, he was finding it challenging to push the truck off the tiny road for the motorcycle rider to pass. As a passerby who came across this scene, I thought it was wise that the motorcycle rider should have come and helped the truck pusher get the things off the road, but he was arguing, until finally, other people had to come and help the truck pusher get the truck off the road. Looking at it from other perspectives, this actually has a lot to tell about how mature the motto rider is in terms of patience, critical thinking, and many more.
Beyond Our Ages, What Does Maturity Truly Mean
Maturity is actually not about how old you have grown to be; it is rather about the state of your psychology and emotions. According to research I came across while finding out more to write about this, maturity includes a lot of things. This includes the ability of a person to control their emotions, make good decisions often without being told, have empathy, and take responsibility for situations when needed.
If you want to know if a person is mature, not because of their age,
Look at the key components of maturity that the person must possess below
- The person must respond calmly to situations and not rashly
- The person must know how to use their words carefully, but not talk to people anyhow
- The person must understand the views of other people and their feelings
- The person must have patience and can think carefully before taking any action
For you to understand better, I want you to assume maturity as how a person behaves when life doesn't go their way.
The Table Below Provides a Clear Comparison Between Maturity and Old Age
|
Factor |
Maturity |
Old age |
|
Definition |
It is the
development of a person's emotions and thoughts |
It is when a
person ages biologically. Like growing from age 10 to 11 |
|
Measurement |
Maturity is
measured by a person’s behaviour, their mindset, and decision-making skills |
Measured by a
person’s year of living |
|
Control |
Maturity can
be developed when a person makes intentional efforts to develop it |
Old age cannot
be controlled or prevented |
|
Guarantee |
Not
guaranteed with age |
Happens to
everyone (if that is when they live long) |
|
Example |
A person staying
calm in the midst of conflict |
Being 60
years old or older |
Why Old Age Is Not a Guarantee That a Person Is Mature
From my own experience and observation, I have come to know and learn that some people grow physically, but mentally, they haven't. Why then does this happen?
1. Lack of Self-Reflection
For many people, whatever they do is the right decision they have made. They never take some time out and sit down to evaluate their actions and reflect on themselves. They lack that ability to relax and ask themselves if they did the right thing, or used the right words, or whether they handled a particular situation well. When a person does not do this, then they lack the ability to self-reflect on themselves.
2. The Environment and Upbringing Factor
You know, sometimes, immaturity stems from childhood, and that is the environment where they found themselves or grew up. The training of a child and their surroundings shape their mindset and how they perceive things. When a person is exposed to wise decision-making skills, they tend to grow smarter and take the right steps, and this matters more than old age.
3. Gaps in Emotional Intelligence
For an expert like Daniel Goleman, who wrote the book Emotional Intelligence, he stated in his book that emotional intelligence is a skill that is learned and not acquired automatically as a result of aging. When an individual has gaps in their emotional intelligence, they tend to get hurt quickly over little things, and what follows next is a quick reaction due to anger and impatience.
4. Lack of Experience
There are a lot of books that state that "Experience is the best teacher", and here is the issue that arises from it: do people really understand that saying, or do they just know it only by mouth? You see, when you experience something, it becomes a part of you and your memory, and due to the lesson you learned from it, you gain a sense of maturity. Experiences actually build you over time, and the more experiences you gain, the better decisions you make.
Practical Ways to Develop Maturity (At Any Age)
1. You have to practice emotional awareness
Practising emotional awareness is just like taking continuous effort to be aware of your feelings. Sometimes, we tend to forget what we are truly feeling and how to overcome them, and that is our flaw. Practice, they say, makes perfect, and doing it over time will truly make you who you are meant to be.
2. Learn to take a break
Anger is not always healthy, and if you think I am wrong, you can research the topic further. The action some people take sometimes, when they get angry, causes damage and regret. Because anger could cause damage sometimes, it is important that you relax when you are angry.
3. Learn to Accept Responsibility
If you want to grow maturely, then you have to learn to start taking on responsibilities instead of blaming others for your shortcomings. You must be responsible and know how best to handle your situations properly.
The Signs That Let You Know You are Becoming More Mature
- You no longer feel the need to win every argument
- You begin to value your peace of mind over proving points
- You think long-term instead of short-term thinking
- When people criticise you, you accept it easily instead of always trying to defend yourself
- You set your focus on solutions instead of focusing on the problems
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If No One Pushes You Forward, Push Yourself
